May we all wake-up to our new normal, and create something amazing out of it.
Some mornings I wake up feeling hungover from watching the sci-fi movie that is, actually, our new normal. It feels like the worst of times, and in some ways, the best of times - at the same time. And that’s the biggest trick for many of us - letting the paradox of the bad and the good, the fear and the hope, the dark and the light, live together side by side.
Life can scare us, as it amazes us. It requires us to take a step back, to move our egos to the side, to take a breath and literally expand our minds, hearts and spirits to contain, well, all of it. If you can do it, the payoff is life-changing. And if the universe sends you a wake-up call, well then, let it wake you up! Here are some of the wake-up calls I’ve been having these past 2 weeks.
The universe just gave me back the gift of time - how exactly am I using it?
Lately I’ve been talking to my own coach about how I need more time: time to write, time to reflect, time for myself in a house full of three young children who need me all of the time. We hatched a pre-COVID plan of how I would get out of the house at least once a week for my own “spirit” time, and do things that were life-giving instead of life-sucking. Sounds so divine, doesn’t it? Before I was able to put this great plan into motion, we were all banished to stay cozily in our homes (!). This actually gave me back a ton of time, time I would have been dropping off and picking up at school, hosting playdates, racing to and from after-school activities and doing a million random errands. And guess what? I find that I’m still saying the same thing. My wake-up is that the problem is not time - and it never was. The problem is me. I realized that my priorities are out-of-whack.
The to-do list seems to always win, out of sheer magnitude. But the most important things should win. What is the most important, energizing, life-affirming thing you can do right now? Maybe it’s playing with your kids, exercising, mediating, dancing. Today, for me, it was writing. Whatever it is, drop the to-do list and just do it.
Meaning matters more than magnitude!
What am I resisting and what if I surrendered to it?
I’ve been flirting with this concept for a long, long time in many areas of my life. I really hate surrendering, and I would much rather fight and win. The truth of the matter is, I want my kids and your kids to go back to school and I want my husband to go back to work; I want my house back and I’m sure many of you do too. I feel saddened for the people who are sick and dying from this terrible virus and I feel scared for all of the people who have it, who will get it, and for all of us whose lives are going to change forever. I am sorry for your parents and my parents who all have to live in fear of their health. I could easily get swallowed up in grief for the loss of my 5-year-old not getting the services he needs for a strong start to kindergarten. I am pissed that as the strongest nation in the world, we were not more prepared for this. I am grieving everyday over the seeming loss of summer. I want my old life back for me, and yours for you.
Week one, I was resisting all of this, and my body was carrying around tension that felt so heavy I thought I was actually sick myself. Week two, I decided to feel like I was the luckiest person in the world, and my tightness cleared. I actually get to make my family 21 meals a week and watch them enjoy it. I actually get to be part of history and adapt and learn in ways I thought unimaginable. I actually get to be in this moment, for exactly what it is. I am accepting that life as we know it is gone for now, and something new will emerge. I am delighted that the world is forced to think in terms of we, instead of just me.
I am amazed by the fact that we are far apart, and yet closer than ever. I get to enjoy my family under one roof, sharing quality time together like never before. I am using more, and wasting less. I am still expecting to be amazed by the human spirit, every single day. Sometimes the win is not in the fight, but in the surrender.
We all have an inner magic parachute for jumping into the unknown. Are you pulling your parachute cord?
The unknown makes people react by searching for ground and certainty. There is a beautiful antidote to reactivity, and if you accept it as a daily practice, it just might change your life forever. We all have it asleep or awake within us at any given moment, and it exists everywhere and can be used at any time. It is never wrong and it is never right. It’s free of charge and is COVID-19 resistant, guaranteed. As my girl-crush Elizabeth Gilbert put it in a recent Instagram post, “constant creative response.”
Being reactive is about being stuck, about not surrendering, about fear and about not wanting things to be as they are. Being creative is about energy, about movement, about aliveness and about wondering what’s possible. Need a little help? Look within or as my coaching school, The Co-Active Training Institute would advise, turn to someone else to create from! I have looked to my kids to show me the way. With a little space, they have created a new normal here at home. They could just misbehave, watch tv and complain (and believe me, there is some of that). But mostly, from boredom they have created forts filled with stuffed animals, created brother-only sleepovers in sleeping bags and created monkey games consisting of eating bananas in trees outside of our house. They are drawing, writing in journals and playing together in ways that I have never seen before. They are seeing me, and grateful for all I am doing for them. They are not stuck - they are moving and doing and creating vibrancy and freshness and connectedness and curiosity and intimacy. They are not complaining about what they are missing, they are staying in the now. They are taking what is, and turning it into what they want it to be.
May we all wake-up to our new normal, and create something amazing out of it.